Tug Of War

I have been feeling this pull between my child and unborn child lately. I have been getting just a taste of what it feels like to care for two little ones. I am feeling the pressure to provide and care for Elliana, while at the same time having a bit of a challenge trying to divide my time between both children. (Elliana and this one in the making). I found myself crying about it last night. Just sitting there in tears over the fact that Elliana is not going to get my 100% full attention anymore and that I will have to adjust and learn the skill of giving both of my children effective one on one time. I just fear that Elliana will feel left out, or less important. Time is so short, I've got 6 months left to do my best to try and prepare her for this new role as, "Big sister".

Elliana at age 15 months. Possible future soccer champ. 

This pregnancy is going great now, we started out there with kind of a rough start with me feeling SO terrribly sick and all. Thankfully, I am finally feeling the second trimester, "honeymoon period" kick in. No more sickness. I got my energy back. Just all around feeling pretty great! Of course more emotional than ever but it's a relief this time to know that these up and down roller coaster emotions are 100% normal and that I am NOT just going physco and am in need of professional help like I thought I did last pregnancy. LOL. Anyway I am sorry of this is turning out to be more of a rant. I just have a lot of cooped up emotions that need to be thrust out into the open. I need to blog more often you guys! I apologize that I have been absent for, well forever and a day. I admit, consistancy at blogging is not one of my strong points. 

Elliana playing imaginary sword wars with a stick. :)

You'll have to be ever so kind and just over look it, this season of my life has been quite a busy one. Not to make any of you readers feel neglected but blogging...well, just say that it felt like there wasn't enough time in one day to get much done at all! Now that we are finally getting some what settled into our new home, things feel like they are slowing down a bit more so expect more frequent blog posts! :) OK back to the topic --sorry my thoughts are quite scattered at the moment. I feel all over the place today! Ha! This blog post is just a refelction of how I am feeling. Gotta' love 2nd trimester mood swings! Eh? I know I am usually the one giving all of YOU advice but that isn't what this blog is about. There is no shame in getting off your soap box every now and again! Now I need YOUR advice. Can any of you Mom's out there understand what I'm feeling right now? As far as that, "pull" goes... almost like a tug of war between you and all of your other children? How do you divide your time and attention between children and connect and communicate effectively? Did you start preparing your older child for your younger child like myself to get ready and prepare to be a big sister when little sibling was still cookin' in the oven? Or did you wait until after to really make that adjustment, and really hung on to that one on one time that you had left before your other little one was born? Thoughts? Advice? I'll take! 

One diaper at a time,
-Tina

Done With Perfect

We live in a society that is constantly  pressuring us to live this way, or to do that; to fit this certain mold. This is especially  true, for Mothers. Why do we as Mothers feel superior in the way we raise our kids and choose to live our lives? You fill in the blank. I know for me, trying to work so hard at being Supermom and paint that picture of perfection is completely and absolutely driven by pride. My insecurities as a Mother stare me in the face everyday just waiting for me to crack. Pride is my 'cover up' my 'mask' so to speak. I feel the need to hide my imperfections as a Mother in the attempt to achieve that certain 'mold' every other Mother seems to be trying to fit in as well. The mold of perfection where you are Supermom and can do it all. This my friends is called, perfectionism and it is a sin. A sin, we are all guilty of. If you say you are just not that kind of woman then, A: you are really  good at lying or B: You haven't taken the time to be honest with yourself.

So how can we finally be done with this whole perfectionism thing?

Well, below I have listed a few simple steps given from one very wise woman that we all can learn something from whether we have children or not: 

• Set realisitc, reachable goals based on what you have accomplished in the past. This will enable you to rein in unrealistic expectations and experience the satisfaction of achievement.  
• Set subsequent goals in a sequential manner. As you reach a reasonale goal, set your next goal one step beyond your present level of accomplishment. 
• Relax your standards for success. Everything does not need to be perfect -in fact, everything cannot be. Choose any activity and instead of aiming for 100 percent, try for 90 percent, 80 percent, or even 70 percent success. This will help you realize that the world does not end when you are giving less than 100%.
• Focus on the process of doing an activity, not just the end result. Evaluate your success not only in terms of what you accomplished but also in terms of how you accomplished it. Did you remain calm and loving? Did you enjoy the process? For those of my readers who are fellow Christ followers: Did you do it as unto the Lord as an act of Worship? 
• Use feelings of anxiety and depression as opportunities to question yourself: "Have I set impossible expectations for myself in this situation?" "Am I giving in to fear?" "Have I lost sight of what's esssential in God's eyes?
• Confront the fears that may be behined your perfectionism by asking yourself, "What am I afraid of?" What is the worst thing that could happen?" ... What does the Bible say? Even you non-Christ followers -consider this. 
• Recall a recent mistake you made and list things you can learn from it. Mistakes are powerful learning tools, most growth and success involves learning through mistakes.
• Pray daily, giving your stresses and to-do list to Christ to oversee. Remember that His priority is your chaaracter and relationships, over your accomplishments. Meditate on verses like 2 Peter 1:3, Psalm 18:30-32, Ecclesiates 7:16-18, and 2 Cornithians 12:9. 
• Lastly, don't sweat the small stuff! Don't feel guilty to rest and take some time to take care of yourself too! Your alone time is so important. Is there a little trail of cheerios from the living room to the kitchen sink? Or did you forget to take that load of clothes out of the washer? (Eeep!) Breath deep and walk away! It'll be there for you whe you get back...but your sanity won't! Let it go! And don't sweat it! 

So saddle up and say goodbye to perfectionism Supermom...and loosen up a little! Do away with the competition and give a farewell to pride and insecurity. Don't  be afraid to be wrong every now and again. Learn from your critics, -in fact grow with them! We are all equals in this journey whether Mothers or not. Don't let perfectionism control you any longer. Refuse  to be it's prisoner and be the change you want to see in your kids. I may not be the "perfect" Mom, but I am the perfect Mom for my kids and you are the perfect Mom for yours. We're in this TOGETHER! 

One dipaer at a time, 

-Tina 

It's here!

So we just got done celebrating a wonderful Ressurection Sunday! It was filled with food, fellowship and a whole lot of fun. I have to be honest with you all though because that is what this blog is really all about -brutal honesty. I'M EXHAUSTED!!! Today has been amazing but honestly, I think I can hear my pillow calling my name!

Baby, "Elijah" and or baby, "Abigail" is in 6 weeks gestation and is making Mommy feel all the more wiped out on this great day! But it's all worth it! I have finally hit the, "Morning Sickness" stage. I typically will begin feeling ill at night. Unfortunately though this morning in hit me some but I made it and got to enjoy the day. We had a wonderful service! Following that was a bit of a Sunday nap (THANKFULLY) when we got home Elliana was pooped as well and so ready to catch some Z's so it worked out awesome.

Meanwhile my husband had to leave to visit a family that had just expereinced an unfortunate loss of a dear family member. If any of you reading this out there are connected to this family in any way, you know who they are -our deepest condolences go out to you all. Sometimes we may not understand what God is doing and that's okay but let us, in the midst of that always remember never to forget who He IS.

Well, in other news, Spring has sprung! Well...sort of. Our family when out to Lowes the other day to do some landscaping/garden shopping and we came home and had a fun time in the front yard watching Daddy landscape the yard and put the flowers in, Elli had a fantastic time playing in the dirt and checking out worms of course! Mommy had fun sun bathing with baby in the rocking chair we've got out there, enjoying the sun and the smell of fresh bloomed life and my ears just tickled with the sounds of Spring.

We got everything planted and in place and looking beautiful and then a few days later just out of the blue hail came falling out of the sky the clouds hover over, the rain starts to pour and the birds go into hiding for a few hours. And come to find out...they may be into hiding for the next few days! We didn't see that coming! At least I didn't anyway. Looks like we may have to make a trip up to Lowes all over again. Maybe Spring has sprung but it's just decided it wants to hang out with old man winter a few more weeks? I don't know we'll see!

Has Spring come and visited you where you are long enough to do some yardwork with the fam? What was your Easter like? In the next post I'll be talking about my very first prenatal appointment with our little baby so stay tuned!

One diaper at a time,

-Tina 

What's Motherhood Life?

A picture of me when I was newly pregnant with 10 month old Abigail!

Hey guys! My name is Tina, I am married to a wonderful husband of 5 years, I am 23 years old and I am a Mother of (technically) three -all my children count! One here with us -a little girl named Elliana who is turning 3 in March, another up in Heaven hanging out with Jesus and another little girl named Abigail who is 10 months and is recovering successfully from reconstructive skull surgery due to a birth defect she had since birth! No more birth defect or surgeries now! I wanted to create a blog where Mother's, Mother's-to-be, or women who desire to one day become Mother's can come and share there ups and downs, ask there questions and maybe even give some answers to myself and the women who come here. On this blog, expect to hear a lot of advice, (Ouch! I know...there's the, "A" word again) Mommying (is that even a word?) tips, even how-to's on how to cope with losses and post-partum depression. I am not in any way shape or form claiming to have all the answers! I am on this journey alongside you and desire to learn together! I have chosen these topics and others like it because I have struggled with most of them and have a burden on my heart to share with you ladies what has helped; what works for me as well as what does not work for me. My prayer for this blog is that when you come here, you will feel uplifted, inspired, encouraged, renewed and relieved so you too can Mother with joy! Because the journey is not supposed to be difficult! It CAN be challenging yes, of course! But don't let the challenges steal your joy or keep you from having fun parenting your child(ren)! And a special message to all of you aspiring Mother's out there...don't feel left out! This is a place for you too! Where you can learn ahead so when the time does come for you to one day be blessed with a child...whether that be through adoption or conception...the journey's road will all lead to the same place: MOTHERHOOD. I hope to connect with you ladies soon! 

One diaper at a time,

-Tina