Elliana at age 15 months. Possible future soccer champ.
This pregnancy is going great now, we started out there with kind of a rough start with me feeling SO terrribly sick and all. Thankfully, I am finally feeling the second trimester, "honeymoon period" kick in. No more sickness. I got my energy back. Just all around feeling pretty great! Of course more emotional than ever but it's a relief this time to know that these up and down roller coaster emotions are 100% normal and that I am NOT just going physco and am in need of professional help like I thought I did last pregnancy. LOL. Anyway I am sorry of this is turning out to be more of a rant. I just have a lot of cooped up emotions that need to be thrust out into the open. I need to blog more often you guys! I apologize that I have been absent for, well forever and a day. I admit, consistancy at blogging is not one of my strong points.
Elliana playing imaginary sword wars with a stick. :)
You'll have to be ever so kind and just over look it, this season of my life has been quite a busy one. Not to make any of you readers feel neglected but blogging...well, just say that it felt like there wasn't enough time in one day to get much done at all! Now that we are finally getting some what settled into our new home, things feel like they are slowing down a bit more so expect more frequent blog posts! :) OK back to the topic --sorry my thoughts are quite scattered at the moment. I feel all over the place today! Ha! This blog post is just a refelction of how I am feeling. Gotta' love 2nd trimester mood swings! Eh? I know I am usually the one giving all of YOU advice but that isn't what this blog is about. There is no shame in getting off your soap box every now and again! Now I need YOUR advice. Can any of you Mom's out there understand what I'm feeling right now? As far as that, "pull" goes... almost like a tug of war between you and all of your other children? How do you divide your time and attention between children and connect and communicate effectively? Did you start preparing your older child for your younger child like myself to get ready and prepare to be a big sister when little sibling was still cookin' in the oven? Or did you wait until after to really make that adjustment, and really hung on to that one on one time that you had left before your other little one was born? Thoughts? Advice? I'll take!
One diaper at a time,
-Tina
Well Tina, I do know what you are talking about. I was and still to a degree, every once in a while, am sad about not giving 100% of my attention to each and every child. It is hard to think that your child who has had your all in all will now possibly be feeling left out and in the dust. However, if I could encourage you at all, that wasn't the case at all! With Elisha I tried to constantly make his sibling seem like the greatest thing in the world! What we actually did to implement the "sibling" into his life was the "good-night kiss." Every night before bed, not so much since Trillo has gotten this new job, we have family devotions in which we read the bible together and then close in prayer with each of us saying a prayer starting with mommy, going down to the youngest and daddy wrapping it all up (for the baby or child that can't or doesn't feel comfortable praying yet, daddy holds them and says a prayer on their behalf while helping them to close their eyes and fold their hands). Then after this we start with mommy and daddy kissing good-night. Then daddy kisses the oldest, and then mommy kisses the oldest. Then Daddy kisses the second-oldest, mommy kisses the second-oldest, then first-born and second-oldest kiss. Then Daddy kisses third oldest, then mommy kisses third oldest, then first born kisses third oldest, then second-oldest kisses third oldest, etc. However, when it is a baby in the womb, that baby is the last one to receive kisses. This got Elisha used to the idea of having a new baby around and got Elisha used to the idea that the baby would be an actual person that you could kiss. And it honestly developed a love for the baby. We constantly talked about the baby being born TO Elisha so that he was a part of it instead of just talking about the baby to others. We gave him a sense of owning the sibling (not like a toy, but... like a family member). Once the baby was born, if I was taking care of Nathaniel and Elisha came up, I never shooed him away. I let him come up and love baby as much as possible. I didn't yell or show any upset with Elisha for wanting to kiss and caudal, even if it was a bit overwhelming. I helped Elisha hold Nathaniel when he asked and later when it came time to feed Nathaniel I let him help with that too, when he wanted. We didn't do the "helping and holding" as much with Nathaniel to Asher when Asher was born and there seems to be a bit of jealousy with those two, but not much. We hyped Elisha up to meet Nathaniel after the baby was born and made this great spectacle with him coming in the room to meet his baby brother and he LOVED it! Anyway, I guess just incorporating Elliana in and getting her to realize that this is an exciting life (referring to the baby) who isn't replacing her, but rather is JOINING her is the only thing I could suggest. One on one time is important, but getting Elisha content with "Family" time was much MORE important. If you think of splitting your time 50% 50%, that could possibly drive you insane. Realize that you are now giving 100% to both with the occasional time for each individual. You are a wonderful mother and I have no doubt that whatever path you take will be just right for YOU and your beautiful babies :) God Bless and wishing the best for you and Jon! :) ^^
ReplyDeleteBtw, sorry for the text-wall...heh...didn't realize it was that long ><
ReplyDeleteEukara,
DeleteHello Dear friend! Thanks for the long response. I love the suggestions you gave. You spoke words of wisdom! Thanks so much for sharing your experience and giving me advice! I really appreciate it! Love, Tina